knkn: What Happened...?

Why is it now that anytime a group of people want to make any sort of plans, it has to involve partying to the point of incoherence? Don't get me wrong, you'll find me the odd time out a party with some friends, but 99% of the time I'm asking myself "what am I doing here?".

Now just a disclaimer, I mean no offence to anyone with this post. Everyone is different, and what one person enjoys, another may completely dislike. But this is just my own personal experiences and opinions. Heck if you like to party, then go hard until the sun comes up! All the power to you!

But me? I'd rather be at home curled up with a book and some headphones, or watching a movie with my boyfriend and pup, or having a karaoke/game night with my friends, or hanging out with my quirky family. I know this is partially due to my anxiety. I'm actually still on the hunt for the "Walk into the club like 'What Up I Got Social Anxiety'" shirt, because that's me. The most introverted, extrovert. But part of it is because I sort of find it sad.
I'll look around and see people falling over, spilling drinks, yelling over incredibly loud music, and saying things we all know we're going to regret in the morning.

And again, there's nothing wrong with that. But for some reason it makes me sad. The amount of money spent in a daze for a night you can't remember, and frankly, don't want to, could have been spent towards renting a camp site. Or maybe pitching for a bunch of pizzas (I'll get no cheese on mine please) and some board games. I mean you could even throw drinking into that mix, and I'd still be happier then out at a party or a bar. And for this reason, I often find myself alone most nights with netflix and my laptop because I think no one else feels this way...

I guess I miss when people wanted to road trip to the beach, or hangout at a cottage, or even just played bowling or pool somewhere. I miss going camping and having BBQs or when people would plan road trips, or theme parks, or laser tag. It seems like all anyone wants to settle for is ear evasive music, sweaty strangers, and a terrible hangover. I want to go on adventures and meet new friends. I want bonfires and kayaking. There was a point in my life, and I feel like almost everyone gets one, where I understood the whole party scene. It was right around the time I became legal, and it went down quite similar to this,

But it wasn't long before I had a moment of clarity in a more sober haze, with a crowd full of people, most I barely knew, listening to music that I frankly hated that I had my first "what am I doing here?" moments.

I think maybe I was just born with the soul of an 80 year old lady, but I would rather spend my moments on ones I will remember. Ones that will make me grow as a person, and add more experience to my life!